Airport Saga
I'm waiting at the gate for my flight home to Philadelphia. I'm usually elated at this time of the week, simultaneously anticipating my reunion with Kim and catching up on some reading I wanted to do. But right now, I'm feeling pretty crappy.

Sitting next to me a few moments ago was one of the most pathetic figures I've ever seen. In his thick 1950's era brown-clear glasses, this twenty-year-old sits nervously on the plastic seat, his legs shaking in the pants of his army uniform. A lot of military come to the St. Louis area for training.

Besides his out-of-style glasses, why is this guy pathetic to the point of making me ill? Well his flight to Pittsburg has been delayed, causing him to take this connection to Philadelphia. He just worked out the new deal with the guy at the ticket counter and seems less than relieved. Then he fumbled with his cell phone for a bit until someone who I might assume is a significant other answered. For the next five minutes, he answered a barrage of questions. "They didn't tell me why the flight was delayed." "I'm at the gate now." "I have a few minutes on my phone card." Then he hung up and went to the pay phone to continue the conversation.

It might have been his mother. On the phone, I mean. Sometimes girlfriends can seem like mothers.

I can't help but think that if this guy had some nicer glasses or some contacts he wouldn't look that bad. You can see that boot camp and a healthy living is beginning to tone up this guy's lean, but lanky body.

So I mean how did this guy get to this point in his life? Out-of-style, perpetually nervous, and most of all probably just months away from duty in Iraq. How is this guy going to do on the battle field? How is this shaky character, with his quivering hands, going to use a gun? How is this spineless guy, blurting --- to his mother/girlfriend on the phone going to handle the pressures of war?

Don't let this kid die. Don't let him become another soldier suicide.

I have to wonder why someone like this would join the Army in the first place. Was he suckered into it by the sleazy recruiters? Is he fresh from high school with his lacking confidence keeping him from getting into college or finding a job? I'm almost certain this guy had a father that beat him, and I want to puke.

Let's roll with the father reference. Did he join the Army because he father was a veteran? Did he grow up hearing things like, "You'll never amount to nothing! Be a real man like I was!" How many of us grew up hearing bullshit like that?

I'm looking at a guy with a strong body and gentle heart, the best kind of person, and the only thing holding him back is some sort of psychological nervousness. Why are there people who turn out like this? Why do I feel like this kid is going to die at war? Why is all of this pointless?

I mean maybe I'm over reacting. So the guy is a little un-hip. Maybe he's even wearing those glasses temporarily because he left his real ones at home. Maybe he's going to get some braces with that military salary. Maybe there's something real nice to get home too, and he's upset and worried about being late. So his mother's a little harsh with the questions. Mine is too. I just hope I don’t look like this guy does on the phone while sweating out those questions. But what kind of thing is that to hope for? It's "hopes" like the above which water down the meaning of the word. Hope. I can't believe I let myself get sidetracked when the only reason for writing this is to express my dearest hope that this kid and the many others like him make it back from war alive and sane. Let's hope for that.